I have a theory that people seek out what they are not so they can then possibly become, what I mean by that is vicarious assimilation of experiences through reading or viewing material. I once read a series of travel books by Bill Bryson at a time when I had been nowhere in the world, I read about the lives of soldiers before I was a soldier and I read about Philosophy before I studied it. I believe I was preparing for what I wished to become and then becoming that thing. I think this is normal, but…… A secondary to that observation is that I also think that persons may never become that which they try to absorb, because they can’t be it even if they try hard to.

If we were able to sample a wide selection of people we might find, and this is merely speculation, that where there is an over-abundance of certain materials, indicating an interest in becoming, but no subsequent action towards becoming, then we might have spotted a wishing personality. He or she who collects dreams of what they wish to be but never fulfils them. I met a girl once who had a huge collection of teddy bears, kept old cards from lovers and friends, only purchased romantic films on VHS and DVD yet she had rarely the capacity for emotional softness. There was too much of an overt attempt to become that which she was not, the hopeless romantic. I figured at first that she must be soft-hearted but learned in time that she was anything but that. This was projection, the facade of the individual being more important to that individual than the reality of themselves. What we project to others is merely what we wish them to believe regarding us, it is what we learn in childhood, not to pick the nose or scratch the private parts. We learn from the reactions of others what we can and cannot do in their company.

Say I wish for you to think me intelligent, how do I go about achieving that task? I could actually become smart and learn many things or I could create the facade of intellect by having high brow books on my shelves that neither of us had read, but you wouldn’t know that so you might make an assumption. It is this assumption that I am trying to create in your mind, I wish for you to believe something of me, I wish for you to validate my ego. To actually learn is to sacrifice time toward that pursuit and to be rewarded by having knowledge, but time is a resource and not one that people can give away easily. To learn is difficult, it is intellectual labour and it is tiring. Why not just pretend to be smart and see if you can get away with it, pseudo smart maybe? This is where banners and slogans come in, it’s far too easy to hitch ones wagon to a cause or an online movement such as the ice-bucket challenge or putting a pink ribbon on ones profile picture. We don’t stand up to cancer or really support the victims of atrocity, not in a meaningful way anyway, we merely tacitly acknowledge that harm exists and we communicate our knowledge of that as a way of projecting a caring person for others to judge. No FB like ever cured a disease!

So back to the first postulate, we wish then we assimilate then we act, or we wish then we project then we expect others to act. Weakness of will, not having the courage of our convictions, you could call it either of these things. In essence the inability to carry out changing the self but the wish to have others believe that we have. I call this excuse making, I think it is too easy and too frequently encountered, society is no longer filled with doers that would do if they could, it is replete with persons who click the like button and think that they have acted. Cultural affects allow this to happen, the internet encourages people to use the internet for protest and therefore keeps them off the streets where they could do real good or affect real change by disruption. John Zerzan writes of real protest, why it is important to break windows and to impede production, why it is important to throw one’s shoes into the machinery occasionally (the origin of the term sabotage). He does not believe in tacit protestations nor FB likes or re tweets – I tend to agree with him on that point.

Pride marches work, you can’t ignore them or scroll past, the wash of colour is unnerving to the timid, the music is loud and the laughter and dancing is hypnotic, the disruption to your normal route home from work cannot be ignored or avoided, that’s why it achieves what it sets out to do – force you and I into acknowledging the right of these people to celebrate what they are. Personally I love it, I’m not gay myself but it puts me in mind of an emancipation, and I like that thought.

Paul Simon Wilson