I asked my partner Em randomly if I should join the manosphere?
The reason I did this was to get her reaction, which I knew I could feed off. Sometimes when people agree on something, and we (Em and I) agree strongly on women’s rights and the toxicity of modern male behaviour regarding it, you need to act like you are in opposition so as to tease out from that other, who maybe isn’t as vocal as they could be, the depth of their feelings on the subject. I often play the Devil’s Advocate in this way, presenting a challenge to someone near me so that they then express with strength and passion what they actually feel and articulate it.
Below is how the conversation played out….
“What do you think to me joining the manosphere, I mean what would the benefits be?”
“Benefits? You can count me out for a start, you’d need to find yourself a woman that will agree with every word you say”
“Is that what it means, I mean do I get to be right all the time?”
“Not right, just treated like you are right”
“Wouldn’t that make me turn into an asshole, if I got to be right all the time even when I am not, I might start to think I was right yeah?”
“Yep”
“So at home I wouldn’t be challenged?”
“That’s my understanding of the partners of manosphere men”
“Guys like the ones running America now?”
“Yes”
“Fuck, those guys are dicks. Are there any other benefits?”
“What do you mean ‘benefits’?”
“I mean what do I get that’s better than now?”
“You could probably get some compliant bimbo who wants to please you all the time”
“You could become that”
“Fuck off”
“Do you mean one of them women that has the big lips and the strange look on their face like they’re experiencing a swelling incident following a sting?”
“Yep, that’s them”
“Nah, I don’t much like that look”
“Can I be a racist, a misogynist etc?”
“I think you have to be, they all seem to be”…
“Do you think people are fundamentally racist, the manosphere just lets it out?”
“Dunno, I do remember Christopher Hitchens describing a scenario where a person is walking home and they hit a fork in the road where either avenue is equally as good, but down one street were people who looked like you and down the other were people who don’t. He speculated that most people would pick the road the similar people occupied. I think that’s a base that racism grows from, maybe it has that component but I don’t think the term ‘racism’ is the same as saying something like ‘natural preference’. Is it racist to be against the way people act if they happen to have a differing skin colour to you?
“I don’t think so”
“Neither do I. Hitchens also pointed out the problem of creeping terminology, where a person might ridiculously be called a racist if they were to oppose a religious ideology. Islam, Christianity, and Judaism are not races, they are chosen ways of living and believing”
“Yeah, you can convert or leave a faith”
“Exactly”
That was a good back and forth, I could have guessed what Em would think but isn’t it always better to let someone express themselves?
So I don’t think I learned much, maybe I’ll rile up someone else to see what they think. What I do know is that I’m still curious as to why some men want to take some sort of control of their women folks. Is it that they think women have ruined things, diminished them personally, taken something manly from them? These things need an answer, a reason, so that people like me can understand them. My perspective has always been one concerning rights, I do not feel I have the right to set the agenda for people or tell them how they should conduct themselves. I also do not wish to live a life unchallenged, and I don’t want what is not freely given. Of course each person has the will to be more powerful, more influential, more listened to and more followed in the modern world, but this is a falsehood. Happiness does not derive from attainment of power or wealth, it stems from self-reflection, self-acceptance, pride, and personal growth. Happiness is a cultivated perspective.
Anyways, the crux is I am not going to join the manosphere at this time….
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